anchors away..

You say you're looking for a sign, but, baby, all you'll see is time fly by. All the wasted moments we have missed can be summed up with just one kiss, if you'd only let me in. I'm all wrapped up in clocks and maps. Time and distance: when you'll stop and where I'm at. I've been chasing you for way too long. Though my legs are weary, my heart is strong. And I don't think that you'll be gone long. That hole in your heart is getting harder to ignore. Do you think that the western states will have what you're looking for? I'm getting close. Anchors aweigh! But my broken heart won't convince you to stay. I will bury it deep inside my chest with all the things I never said and watch you walk away. That hole in your heart is getting harder to ignore. Do you think that the eastern states will have what you're looking for? Anchors aweigh! I'm begging you to stay anchors away. 

thank godddd.

breaking the habit tonight..

you're right, it is easy to fall into old patterns, but its even easier to forget the wrong that the person has done to you.

you KNOW she is no good, you KNOW she will treat you wrong, and you KNOW she lies to you.

stop being like me, and continue having sense.

i've got nothing to hide..

so why do you?

i simply don't understand why people hide things.  personally, not one bit of my life i keep a secret, there is no need to.. but i'm finding that even my closest friends are keeping things from me, and everyone else.  there is no need for it.. it really only causes rifts in a friendship.  ah well.

i'll drain these blue hands, to match my green face..

this ones about regret.

ever since i can remember, i always went by the motto "live your life with no regrets," and i did.  i feel that having regrets is dwelling on the past, and in order to live in a happy and doubtless present time, you have to capture the profound moment, and then move on from it. 

the singular thing that i regret is what happened with alissa.. part of its me being selfish, and well, a teenager.  she was the first girl i was with after helen, it just happened so fast, and i just felt shell-shocked after it.  also though, the fact that we can't be friends and that i am seen as a bad person by people gets to me the most. i'm not, i just made a mistake, and i know that there isn't anything i can do to change that opinion of me. 

this is all very random, but its something i had to get off my chest.

don't you remember?

i think this weekend has taught me a lot about tolerance.  i've spent the past six or so months being an asshole to everyone and getting annoyed by peoples' ways and all that, but then last night after about my sixth cheese fry from steak n shake, i came upon the realization that i should just be tolerant of others. and with that, i need to try not judge (everyone judges, though you say you don't or make an excuse for it, you do).  i guess i'm tired of having people mad at me, my mean demeanor has always been a joke, but this joke isn't funny anymore.

the drummer boy is drumming, and all you feel is fear..

tonight was a wonderful night, and i suppose in my bucket list, i complete one of the goals.  seeing prayer breakfast was absolutely incredible, their music just has a special place in my heart and seeing it performed by some of my favorite musicians topped off the cake.  now i'm in indy, like most weekends, and i love it.

oh dear, its been hardly three days and i'm longing to feel your embrace...

good feelings all around the room.

i'm happy, she is happy. this is exactly what i've been searching so hard for, and the best part is that i didn't search for her.

you dance inside my chest where no on sees you, but sometimes i see you

this is about being different.  i am different. i didn't truly absorb that statement until tonight, when a very lovely girl told me i was different from any other boy she had ever met. but i've heard it before, from mike especially.  he says that i'm an old soul, and that i think through things backwards in my mind before making a decision, and its true.  its how i am, how i will always be, and its the only way i know how to be.  

red light's coming, a marching you can't here..

i'm slipping behind greatly in my school work.. i need to do something about this...

do you remember?

tonight was a great night, tons of laughs at the show and outrageous comments, then the ultimate recap of all things funny between katie, taylor, tulo and i at steak n shake.

last night i said something scary, but it may turn out to be good... 

things have changed for me..

..and thats okay, i feel the same, i'm on my way..

you are too much for me to even want to handle.

OUT with the old!

IN with the new!

allow me to exaggerate a memory or two..

you are adorable, simply adorable.  you make me smile, and i don't even care about that anymore.

i'm oddly happy considering the situation.  its the weather.

i hope its affecting you in the same way.

i was swimming through the waves, for what must have been days! but could find no relief..

today, my grandma and i went to a joint therapy session with my counselor, mike, and hers, cheryl.  it was great, a lot of stuff that has been bothering me with us was brought to the front, and the same with her.  i feel a lot better about stuff, and with them, i think she will be able to understand where i am coming from more.  

rodeo played great tonight, they felt a lot more real tonight, maybe because it was at harmon street, but i dunno, i felt like we were all connected with the music and everyone was having a great time..

i'm here for you, but i won't let you keep saying the same things and thinking the same things, that repetition is insanity, you HAVE to overcome this, and i know before i told you to take your time.. but at this point its becoming harder and harder for all of us to deal with.. especially you.

out with the hot, out with my bad mood.

yesterday and today simply rejuvenated me, the feeling of autumn is here, and i couldn't be more appreciative of it.  i love this season, everything goes right during this time, and i'm ready.. i'm hopeful for anything, and i just feel love.

in their defense, they don't refuse..

your ill-weathered words are discouraging. stop saying there aren't any good boys out there, and please stop saying you are tired of them. don't let one bad experience with one boy ruin your outlook on others, it makes me feel like there is no hope at all. don't take me for granted.



don't take me for granted.

when will these barricades fall?

we all put up barricades, all form some superficial barricades for protection against the most gentle of things, and sometimes the most harmful of things too.  lately, i've been letting those barricades fall, being vulnerable, and though it may hurt at first, in the long run its making me a better person altogether.  hows your faith been lately?  mine has been compromised, and there is no denying that.  its starting to take its toll on me, hell, today even my spanish teacher noticed something was wrong, he said that i looked like i was at a funeral.  i'm not sad, not at all, i'm happy with the change that i'm going through; its just that i'm unfulfilled. i remember at the end of last school year, i felt a calling to a higher standard, but unfortunately, the summer came and i lost sight of that and ended up in a huge rut.  i'll keep praying to realize this calling, and who knows how long it will take to hear my answer, but i have the patience to wait.

i can't make any sense of these words that are in reverse

i've been wrong before you know.

i felt heaven yesterday, i swear it.  

i'm not gonna waste these words about a girl..

i'm done, i'm giving up. i'm tired of arguing and worrying and being treated with a second-hand. i hope you can clear your mind of confusion, i now know that i can't make you, and i'm too worn out at this point to even try.

..i've been singin' all my songs to you.

i'm not gonna let things get me down anymore, i'm not gonna be so fucking pessimistic about this anymore. i'm going on arms up, and i'm going to be there for you. your happiness matters to me most, i'm not going to be selfish about it anymore. i care about you and you know that, i'm hanging in there, whether it be for me, or for you.