they're spitting at the earth, plunder, beg and curse...

tonight, something scary happened between valerie and i..
at the show she didn't talk.. at all, not to anyone. and it was terrible, she feels very uncomfortable around people talking about stuff (music) that she doesn't know anything about. i know that this is just one instance, but i am very worried that the more shows we go to together, the more uncomfortable she'll feel.. and i don't want that, at all.

apart from that, anywhere with you's final performance was tonight, and i had the honor of playing the last three songs. i know the music may seem distasteful or just simply not real, but i realized tonight that playing with my friends and for my friends is what matters, not how the music is or who it appeals to. tonight caleb thanked me for playing those songs and that it felt right and that he was glad i was up there.. that really meant something to me.

saturday will be hard.