listen, listen patiently..

i talked to mike today, first time since the first of the month.. he told me to write you a letter. i was considering it and leaving it on your car while you were at work, but i think i'd rather just give it to you in person, that is, if i ever see you again..

SWAN is going pretty good, wrote a new song, and its not bad. whenever i play it though, i think of you, and i don't like that..

we haven't talked for a few days, that's intentional. i think i need to give you space, though it kills me not knowing how you are..

a lot of stuff has happened and gosh, i just want to tell you and you get a laugh, or get your opinion on it..

i am sorry.

i found my heart today, it wasn't where i had thought..

today, in the smallest amount of time that i've been awake, i did something that i told myself i would NEVER do.. i cheated on valerie gorham.. this is the worst decision of my life, and not only did i hurt myself, but i hurt the person i care most about.. i love valerie, i've only known her for a handful of months but she's changed my life and now she's gone.. i deserve whatever is coming for me and i know it won't be good..

i get by with you at my side..

its important to remember to be considerate, i've learned.

we are called to a higher standard.

its my duty to rise above hate and threats and all the stupidity that comes with irrationality. i am a thinker, and i have a conscience.

new crevices..

i don't have time.. but this weekend felt great.

god i thank you for this family, and for this sacrificied bird..

micah reunion, ihop, wal mart, valerie's at 3 AM, thanksgiving, twilight, katie's house pt. 1, black friday, stephen's bike trip dvd, mj's pizza, harmon street, 1 billion strong in tony hawk 4, new hat and shoes, thermals, valtron, faz's, katie's house pt. 2, snow, taking home, going home, thanksgiving break.

and i'm rubbing my eyes to see if i'm awake..

tonight i was inducted into the National Honor Society.. i know its not that big of a deal, but i feel genuinely accomplished because of it. its nice to be shown that i'm bright, rather than just told it.

tomorrow is valerie and i's one month mark of being in a relationship together. its hard to believe that its already been a month, sometimes it seems like a lot longer, and others a lot shorter. she is a wonderful girl, and definitely worth keeping around..