well i am a bird and you are a fish, and we will fly and we will float..

its been a bit but that's okay, i've found that its useless to write about small things that happen everyday, and more importantly my immediate reaction to them; and that allowing myself to reflect upon certain situations and then write about it is best.

things with ally are wonderful.. she is really something special and every time we are together we just have fun, its very simple and i wouldn't have it any other way.

on the other hand, victoria and i barely speak anymore.. and its killing me. she is honestly a sister to me, and though i know she's been going through a TON (even more than usual), it still hurts not to speak to her.. i hope that soon things will change, and i have a feeling that they will for the better.

the other day i think i can say that i had a bit of an awakening. i was in mission mart buying suitcases (forty-nine cents a piece, hellz yeah), and i saw their prayer list.. it hit me hard because names of people i know were on there, including v's brother, and i guess i realized that i'm taking things for granted. i've been very good recently, and i think that the idea that life is supposed to be that way started to take over.. i've been praying recently, something that i hadn't done on a regular basis in months.

i was thinking the other day, and SO MUCH has changed from three months ago when i was with valerie, a world of change in fact. i talked to her sister today because its her birthday, and she wondered where i went and i really couldn't give a good answer. not to say that i'm not content with whats happened in the past three months, i suppose it just snuck up on me.

i wasn't happy. i wasn't happy where i was..

i am grand.. i really am.

..they say they like the way we feel when we get touched.

last night was amazing.

later on about this when i have a picture or two to show for it.

this place feels so surreal.. am I alive?

i'm working hard, and i love it.

..where is my limit

well i got to see all the day holiday tonight, and it was truly wonderful.. i missed those dudes a lot, and seeing them and their bright faces and seeing all the success that they have been having is awesome. i always somehow forget how good it feels to see them live, its a feeling like none other, and i will forever love them for that..

it was also very good to see michelle, i hadn't seen her since halloween, she is an instant mood lifter, and though i got home past midnight, it was a very good decision to attend.

is depression, or satan telling lies?

today i missed school again, and i went to see the nurse practitioner, not the doctor, and got a few things. the most painful was a shot, and the rest was some medicine and a shitty disclaimer about the dangers of being an asthmatic that smokes. it didn't phase me much, i don't want to quit.. but i DO need to cut down.

tomorrow i get to see all the day holiday yet again, its been quite some time.. and i miss those dudes, especially mark.

tulez and i really need to go visit everyone in cinci soon.

i've lost hope that we may find a calm..

so ally and i broke up, which was expected, and i think where we are now, which is coexisting as good friends is working out really well.

SWAN played their first show saturday, pretty much on a whim.. i met some sweet people there and i hope to play around there again. oh and, new song up.

i'm sick. every year i somehow contract an upper respiratory infection, and its going on now.. i hate being sick and missing school when i'm sick is even worse. not being able to breathe well at all is terrible and i just want this voodoo out of my body!


things change, people change, i guess i gotta take it in stride..